I am the new user of the month! Bask in my glory as I radiate in my passive graces amungst the literal dozens of users who comb these very threads. Including you - yes, I know you are looking for something great to fill that void in your life. Look no further because I am now equipped to pacify that need with my mere presence. (I dont truly think this highly of myself)
I look forward to pacification! (Of the world! Let’s not think small, here!)
Had me laughing to tears.
But in all seriousness: how could I have been so selfish? I shall launch a kickstarter so that I may be well funded to make my presence known around the globe. Or perhaps we should start with a local telethon?